Henny Sitepu Supolo SS, MA child education expert, argues that the prior existence of a large family, family is central to an important element to be recognized and accepted the child. "strong relationship based on mutual desire to communicate is important in this environment" he said. Introduce the child's first introduction to the family tree is still a grandfather and grandmother, uncles and aunts, brothers and sisters, and cousins. After that other families who came dariu one great-grandfather. This stage is important for understanding the child, and family closeness is basically true priorities are largely determined by the phase "said Henny.
According to Henny, usually in a large family closeness is also highly dependent on the ability to communicate both sides. 'Not only of children but also from the uncles, aunts or cousins that "he said. In fact, some people use local languages to communicate within the family. The reason, other than to facilitate communication, but also to bring children's emotions at the root of culture and tradition.
In recognition of this large family, Henny said, never forced the children to come to the meeting except during Lebaran family and religious activities are conducted with a large family. For her birthday event or family gathering is not a requirement to attend with the children. This was agreed because they feel that closeness does not come from a diapksakan meeting, but will come straight from the hearts of the children themselves. Usually children who are used close to his extended family would be comfortable when dealing with older people. " This is one positive thing from a big family closeness. Communication skills are highly trained when a child is accustomed to dealing with large families who have a variety of speech.
Investment value plays when the child interacts with his family as mutual respect, love peace and respect the differences are few. Henny says laziness children because they do not get along with his extended family used to really be equated with discomfort the child was in the new environment. "What child does not get bored if he had to sit still and not be denied though not agree with anything he heard. Or how not to be nervous when a long time, sitting pretty is a must to pass modesty "he explained.
However, in children can be given an understanding and a kind of tips to deal with this condition. Among other things, need not be too long in and sit quietly, quickly find activities that can divert approximately kebosanannya. For example, invited to play checkers, cards and so forth. "When we were little kids, we never took them to a family gathering event just because they really become tired of not having any activity other than sitting waiting for questions from parents. Although we've brought a story book and picture book, but staying in a family gathering where peers are very rare and did not even exist, as a last resort in filling their weekend "he explained.
More adult children can feel the difference in customs between father and mother's family group. Or differences in face several uncles, aunts, grandparents or cousins. By feeling the difference, in fact the child will also train its ability to communicate effectively with anyone it faces. And this is also one of the benefits directly if we can get the kids to know her extended family 'said Henny.
Henny said, giving freedom to the two children to not attend her extended family. They may not be present from the reasons that they can describe my thanks. Thus I do not necessarily force them to be present in the pickle family. Diakuainya, children already have their own communities sometimes feel even better along with his friends rather than meet with different families of this generation. However, Henny opinion, met the extended family still necessary for her two children.
Parents become a Model
Parents become a Model
Psychologists from Unika Atma Jaya, Therese Shanti Indira, Psi, M. Si opinion, parents have the authority to sort the values inculcated in children. For example may differ in opinion within the family of origin due respect and reverence. Parents must have a strategy so that their children behave according to those values. For example, if parents want children to greet the older person as the behavior of the child should have the value of respecting elders. "Parents set an example by respecting uncle, aunt, grandmother or grandfather to say hello and give attention as 'grandmother had eaten or not?'. Shanti said. He suggested that to avoid talking about family members in front of the child. "So parents should set an example to the child, the child should be seen as early as possible," said education consultant in some of these schools.
According to Shanti, there are children who do not know well or extended family may know but do not close and feel foreign. This can lead to stiffness in kinship relations. To avoid this, involve the child enters a big family environment. "Frequently families bring children to see the example in family events. More creative if you raise the child with his cousin for a vacation together, he said.
Shanti added stiffness caused by children when interacting with relatives dependent personality and personality of the child's own relatives. "Parents should know the character and needs of such children would rather be hugged when acquainted with the aunt and omnya or children who need time before mingling with his cousin. Previously, the child must be prepared first, for example 'we'll come to aunt A place you should be careful because at home aunt yes a lot of fragile goods' or tell beforehand to ask the child to give a greeting to his brothers. Tell me in detail the situation that will confront the child as much as possible. The goal is that children feel 'ready' and not a big surprise to enter the family environment.
Approaching the Cultural Roots
Shanti said, children who have lost relationships (missing link) with kinship ties because children do not understand the importance of family traditions. For example, children are born and grow in Jakarta, parents do not introduce it to the local tradition or culture of origin. If parents want children to appreciate its traditions, the parents set the example and stimulating family environment for example by using local languages in certain moments or take children to visit his hometown. Or introduce certain habits adopted these traditions such as voice with low tones or dress modestly. So the child will try to adapt to his extended family environment. See also the family environment, there are still able to accept behavior that 'different' is also less accepting.
Teaches local language to children is easy bother. If the child refuses to know, give insight as well as English as a language of instruction used by international, regional languages also serve as a language of instruction when hanging out with his family who remained in the area. "Create an environment that makes children self motivated and arises a sense of love and respect the value of family tradition," said Shanti.
Encourage the child care (care) in their relatives such as uncle, aunt or cousin birthday, have the children make greeting cards or search for a gift together. When a relative is ill, you can invite children to visit together. Gradually, children will realize that there are large families associated with it outside the core.
The important thing children adopt the values desired by the family itself. So that the child will know him well, such as family background, especially her parents and how relations between the two families of different backgrounds united. As a result children can learn positive and negative based on the experience of his family. Not just that, when a child is looking for self-identity, they can determine what strategy should be done later. "Children in anticipation for positive change in direction so that it can more easily adapt to certain environmental changes or as you age," said Shanti.
The difference between grandson and grandmother's generation can be quite far indeed. But that does not mean children can not interact warmly with them. You can cheat tips from psychologist Therese
Shanti Indira, for grandparents and grandchildren close to her grandfather, grandmother and grandfather Generally it wanted to be close with her grandson. There are some who bring something to get close to her grandchildren. Actually there is no problem, but the child may be disappointed when they 'forget' to bring her something. Better to give warmth to hug the child when they met. Children need sensitive and responsive attitude from others, so they feel valued and recognized. "And that could be done if the child was not given the stimulation familiarized with the material," said Shanti.
Know your child's need to adapt. As after several days did not meet the grandparents, the boy returned to feel foreign. There are children who need time to look around first or comfortable home environment grandparents before greeting. Try to understand and appreciate how the child, communicate 'habit' kids on the grandparents.
Generally children are still egocentric, so it takes time for child care with other people. To form the self-affection of children, show them first that you are caring and concerned for example by calling them every day, write a letter. Include the child to communicate with both. Share stories with children of his grandparents, for example when children come home from school, 'eh he said had grandfathers story today will start a diet you know'. From there arises a sense of curiosity, which raised the 'closeness' to the child through your story. (Inspiredkids)
Taken From: radmarssy.wordpress.com
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